Ok, I have to say, I love this idea! Ez, over at Creature Comforts created this little project because of a Twitter conversation that popped up over the weekend. It all started because of this post written by Jess Constable.
Here’s what it’s about, in a nutshell: in this blog-world of ours, reality doesn’t always shine through. Blogs are brands, and the bloggers behind those brands want to put their best foot forward, right? Fair enough. Readers come for interesting content, beautiful images, and to walk away feeling inspired… but sometimes that means “real life” doesn’t make much of an appearance. And to be perfectly honest, I find it exhausting, and intimidating, sometimes – how do these people all have perfect homes, and perfect shoes, and perfect art projects!!! The truth is, no one is perfect… so, that’s what today is all about. A whole group of amazing bloggers {a full list can be found on Creature Comforts} are opening up, and sharing the “things I’m afraid to tell you”. I don’t share very much personal information on this site, so I thought today might be the day… here we go {gulp}:
Yep, I have a beautiful, hilarious, creative five year old boy {whose middle name is West, because we moved west to start our family}. I don’t write about him, because this is an art blog, and I assume all of you are coming here to read about art… however, I’ve always felt weird that I’ve never mentioned him, because being his mother is the most important, fulfilling, wonderful thing that I have ever done in my entire life.
I’m an artist, which you all know, but I’m very nervous about showing my own work. Like, “feel kinda sick & get kinda sweaty” nervous. I have shown it a little bit more in the past year or so {mainly because I’ve been pushed by some very lovely/convincing bloggers… Erin and Kate, I’m talking to you!}. I love my work… until I know that someone else is going to see it, and then I start second guessing every element in every piece. I don’t feel like my art is where I want it to be at this stage in my life, and that drives me crazy.
As much as I wish that I spent all day jealously curating {and getting paid for it!}, I don’t. I am a graphic designer, so I spend most of my day working away on client projects. Some are fantastic, creative, and a joy to work on… and some, well, they pay the bills! My dream is to have “The Jealous Curator” become my day-job, and I’m insanely jealous of the bloggers out there who have managed to do that… but until that day, I’ll be over here making logos bigger ; )
Phew, ok, those are the three biggies! I could tell you about my insanely messy closet, or the fact that I can’t keep a manicure looking good for longer than one day… but perhaps that’s more than you actually want to know! Thanks for reading… and if you have a blog, you should give this a shot. It’s quite cathartic!
{Thanks for getting this going Ez! xo}
Regarding #2, I’m an artist too, and whenever I’m feeling particularly underwhelmed with my abilities, I read this lengthy Ira Glass quote:
Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.
― Ira Glass
It always makes me feel much less garbagey about myself and also a lot less afraid of making mistakes.
It’s funny that this post came up today, because I was suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the perception of everyday perfection all over the Internet. Thank you for the glimpse into your life and sharing this project that so many bloggers are participating in. I’m definitely going to read all the stories out there.
jacqueline – yes, go and read them all! it’s very refreshing… like a big exhale!
elizabeth – thank you so much for that quote. i’m going to read that, a lot.
xo
This dialogue is so important. Great quote, Elizabeth. Being an artist can often mean a lot of time working alone- with a fair share of rejection- so it can get dark and lonely sometimes. It is so nice to know that other people are vulnerable, sometimes feel insecure and don’t feel fabulous and successful at every moment. Thank you for sharing, for your bravery and of course, for your jealousy.
Dear Danielle,
I have huge smile in my heart and on my face.
you are wonderful (I think I said that before), love and adore what you doing here, and after there this three essential even a bit more…:-)
Well you know this hits close to home for me.
#2 is one of my biggest daily struggles. I do believe I ‘ll take a peek at that bog.
Thanks for another great post.
I loved this. Thanks for sharing. I too am a mom, and I work in the visual arts. I’m in my early 30s and have two children (6 & 2) and I feel like an anomaly. My job is everything I’ve ever wanted (I work with museums and well known artists), and I get to work PT from home. But I’ve always felt I’ve had to hide my children from my colleagues in the art world – for various reasons – but mainly out of fear of judgement or rejection. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. Thanks for your courage. It’s encouraging!
yes! that’s exactly how i feel… as if being a mom takes away from my curatorial credibility, which of course, is ridiculous. do people really think that, or is that just us getting into our own heads?!
You got me thinking – I have a boy the same age (isn’t it a great age?) and I honestly don’t remember if I ever mentioned him on my blog, even yhough he’s the most important person in my life.
I’m always very curious about what bloggers actually do with their lives. Is a relief to see that you are real people! Amazing project.
I don’t know really. In my 10+ yr career I’ve only worked with a few curators who had children (none of whom had more than 1) at a much older age. And I have been asked, by HR staff, if my children or a commute, would be an issue. So I guess I’m stigmatized now. I really ought to get over it. Luckily now that’s less of an issue because I work from home. But the downside is I find myself living more of virtual life confined to email and an online existence, and trying to decipher “real life” (as you mention at the top your post) between status updates, tweets and instagram imagery. This blog post, though. This was real.
really?! because children and commutes are so similar!? oh my word. yep, you’re right though… i haven’t worked with a gallery yet where the director/curator had children. weird. well i’m thrilled that i have one, and he makes me want to work harder towards all of my goals – i want him to think his mom is amazing! ; )
so glad you shared today!
loving the name west, and it’s a joy to know you’re a mama. i am too, to one boy, whose middle name is grey. also? i’ve a darn messy closet.
happy day to you! thanks for your courage! xo
Yes, I guess the commute issue was brought up because we moved to the ‘burbs to be closer to the grandparents. Regardless of my insecurities around the issue, I do love being a mom, and out here in the burbs I’m definitely the coolest mom. ha!
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Such a lovely confession about artistry. My own conflict over this emerges not from strangers viewing my work, but with the people who know me seeing them. I think the hardest part is admitting all of those flaws, dark spots, and sadnesses that creep through really are there, though not at the surface of everyday life.
In essence, those works are another form of “things I’m afraid to tell you.” Terrifying, exhilarating, and, I hope, liberating.
Thank you for sharing
Elana
artschlcontd.blogspot.com
Long time lurker, first time commenter. I just wanted to drop a note to say thank you for sharing even this tiny glimpse of yourself to us. I think the best blogs (and blogger) are those who infuse their personality and the subject that they cover. Cheers for sharing!
so glad you commented greg… instead of just lurking ; )
i honestly never know how much information to give about myself… i don’t want this to turn into “the danielle show” so i tend to, well, share almost nothing. hm… i may have to rethink that!
Thank you for this! I am also terrified of showing my work, and even though I’ve just opened an etsy store I’m afraid to even tell my friends and family, and those I have told were also told things like “well, it’s a start” and “I don’t know. Maybe one day we’ll look back and laugh at how I started by selling prints on etsy”. I don’t actually know what it will take to get over this insecurity, since I have been told by thousands of people that they love my work (not this stuff, my old business – see, there I go again!). Anyway, what I wanted to say was, thank you for letting me know I’m not alone!
Thank you for sharing this! It’s been so fun to read everyone’s posts today. I LOVE your blog! 🙂
Oh gosh, I think I’m jealous that you are a designer by day, I would love to be able to say that, I worked so hard at my degree but now there is no work 🙁 it really sucks.
This is a great post though, thank you for sharing.
rhianne – i know, i am actually really lucky that i get to be a designer by day – maybe i take it for granted?! i have worked for huge agencies for years, but i just started my own little company. it’s a lot more flexible, and i can take the projects i want (and pretend i’m too busy for the ones i don’t want!)… you should just freelance instead of looking for a full time gig somewhere (for now).
bec – your work is fantastic (in fact i pinned one of your images last night and people are repinning like crazy!)… you have nothing to feel nervous about!!
emily – thank’s for the sweet words, and i loved your post too : )
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I LOVE knowing these things about you! Thank you for sharing 🙂 I’m so glad it’s not just me who lets all the seeming perfection out there in the blogosphere get to me. It’s something I really hate and try to combat on my own blog, but I’m all to aware of how difficult it is to lay bare the more vulnerable things about myself, so love it when others do it too.
I’m so happy to hear you have a son the same age as my son and that sharing your artwork is terrifying (as it is for me also). I already feel a connection to you through the art you share here, but it’s wonderful to know more about my favorite blogger 🙂
Thank you!
xo – jessica
jessica – we can bond over having 5 year old boys! yay! thank you so much that comment – so so sweet! can’t wait to finally meet you in person in portland! (i hope!)
colleen – ha! yep, it is a bit of a balancing act over here, but it’s pretty fun!! (i also go to bed really early – that seems to help with the craziness!) ; )
Thanks for your courage! I am loving all of these posts. Personally, I would love to hear more about your son and life as a mom. I’m amazed at people that can balance a career with being a Mom and I think I’d learn from you! 🙂 xo
Although I visit every day, it’s been a while since I commented. But today I must say that I particularly enjoyed this post. Yes there are many perfect homes, and perfect dinners and perfect friends and boyfriends and girlfriends and shoes out there.
I love how you opened up, in a very simple and honest way. I share all 3 secrets with you (well my #3 is not so secret and my number #1 came along with my boyfriend…) Now please tell me that #4 is about having an inch of dust on your bookshelves.
Will go check the other blogs. Have a good weekend.
ha! yes – very dusty bookshelves! ; ) there are a lot more things that i could tell you… just not sure how much you want to hear ; )
thanks for your very sweet words nathalie! xo
ahhhhhhh, what a relief! i love your blog and am so inspired by the honesty! thank you, thank you, thank you! it can be incredibly intimidating to read all of these amazing blogs, and impossible not to feel less than at times. what a great project!
oh, thanks so much stephanie! you should do it on your blog too… kinda scary but a huge relief too!
Oh, thank you so much for your kind words about my work, it really means so much. My confidence needs all the boosting it can get right now!
Bec
of course! keep going… and i will too ; )
Funny about your son being a confession! But I hear you, in some industries it’s hard to be taken as seriously if you show any sort of “real life” outside of paid work.
I know that you don’t want this blog to become the “Danielle show” but it is sweet to see a few bits of your life behind the curtain of the Jealous Curator. Maybe that’s just me, but I love getting to know the whole person behind the blog.
Of course, you haven’t seen ME yet write a post on this topic! But I did reveal a bit on my guest post at Inward Facing Girl about motherhood…
i know. kinda weird. if this was a lifestyle blog of course he would have come up… but this blog is about contemporary art… hard to find a way to work a 5 year old into that! although, he is quite the budding artist! maybe i’ll do a post on him! ; )
danielle,
i love that you shared this stuff on TJC. i immediately started thinking about what i’d share… probably #1 would be that i’m shy! the mom thing is really weird because in other instances (i.e. lifestyle blogs) you can feel left out if you’re NOT a mom. we are always trying to squeeze into one box or another!
AND i just have to say that it’s been an honor to have your work on buy some damn art! it’s been very special to be a part of your journey so thanks for including me. : )
that’s so funny – i’ve never thought of it the other way around (re: the mom thing).
thank you for having me on bsda kate – it was an overwhelming honor to be asked by you! xo
Hi, just I wanted to say something … I love photograph… design and also I had a degree in Comunications but to be honest I never did something seriously with my knowldege, maybe I should say Professional… and you took my atention twice, first in the things that you share in Pinterest and then when I came to your blog and you use the word JELAUS… that just shocked me, because I considered myself quiete jelaus about everybody around me (my feelings) but I´m also use to say that is it because of I’m insecure.. so JELAUSE here has another meaning that is not BAD you are telling us that you ADMIRE those people. Like me when I want to create something that others can do… now I realized that I’m not a bad person because of that, they just inspire me to be better and follow my dreams. Like you, you inpires me to follow my dreams just with your only word: JELAUS
Just thanks and keep following your own dreams 😉
(and sorry for my English, grammar and mistakes I´m not an English speacker).
thank you so much rose! xo
(and your english is just fine!)
Hello! thanks for sharing your thoughts with the rest of us! totally understand what youre saying with number two and number three. (ok number one, hasnt happened yet- one of the things m afraid to tell is the feeling of not being able to become a mom- really scares me the thought as would love it) but going back to number two and three, as a graphic designer myself, and working with authors and different clients, sometimes it gets so frustrating and then thoughts like “nmmmmm why m not at home, creating my art?”,… or “mmmm wish i could be a full time blogger working from home!”
oh well, its good to have dreams and working torwards them. so keeping smiling! :)) best, xo
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I’m really grateful for your honesty in admitting that bloggers are a brand which explains why so many of them put forward a picture of perfection. But lately that has seemed so alienating to me and in fact the opposite of ‘community’ which is what actually sustains blogging for me. I am though torn between my love for inspiring imagery and the need for keeping it real. For example I live with a chronic illness (yes, I know, not something you want to build a ‘brand’ around!) and yet my art is what keeps me sane and able to rise above it. I do worry about mentioning it too much as I fear it will turn readers away, even though in some ways it is instrumental in fuelling my creative side. Anyway congratulation – I really do feel your blog manages to have that balance – matter of fact I’m kinda jealous I didn’t think of it myself!!!
i’m so sorry that you have this chronic illness to deal with… but so happy you have your lovely art to motivate you. you, my friend, are the one who is inspiring!! xo
I’m late in reading, but this was a real eye-opener. The things I’m afraid to tell you… well, I’m still afraid to tell. Food for thought. Thanks 🙂
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just found your blog and I love it! I could have written your three confessions except I am an Industrial Designer instead of a Graphic Designer.
I totally missed the boat on this post series 2 years ago, but I’m so glad I found it now. I finally decided to start trying to sell art and I feel exactly like you do about showing it to people. I realize I can’t sell it if I don’t show it, but it makes me sick to my stomach to think about people looking at it and judging it.
Glad I found your blog! I’ll be sure to keep checking back!
I am really enjoying the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues?
A couple of my blog visitors have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but
looks great in Opera. Do you have any solutions to help fix this issue?